The people pleaser often has an idea of itself as a selfless giver, being there for other people. But if you scratch the surface you see it’s doing what it’s doing as a strategy to get what YOU need, in a rather manipulative way.
When you look at jealousy and insecurity as problems that need to be fixed - you tend to treat them as experiences without validity. Now you miss the underlying reason why they are there (and the opportunity to truly change and alchemize them).
Procrastinating and pushing yourself to work too hard might seem like two completely unrelated topics. What they DO have in common is that they are often misunderstood and rejected.
Many of us have a sense that happiness and peace are on the other side of our reactions of anger, jealousy, anxiety, or procrastination. When this perspective, and the embodiment of it, is what actually keeps you stuck.
When you are physically or emotionally abused your system will go into a survival response. When what’s at stake is to be accepted, liked, and belong, or to have that emotional need that you have been missing since early childhood met, it’s very UNlikely that the survival response will be fight or flight.
Behind every single episode is my own devotion to love and truth. It’s the driving force behind every program, client session, and pdf download. It’s the beacon for my own expansion and meeting with the uncomfortable, ugly, and dark parts of myself.
In our third session, Kate finds shame about manipulating others to get their attention and appreciation. From the work she’s done, she now has the capacity to feel shame in a healing way, instead of reinforcing the old story.
This week’s episode takes them apart and looks at a more truthful perspective that will move you out of fear about feeling - also the uncomfortable emotions.
In our third session, Kate finds shame about manipulating others to get their attention and appreciation. From the work she’s done, she now has the capacity to feel shame in a healing way, instead of reinforcing the old story.
When we’ve done a lot of work on a pattern or reaction, just to have it show up again and again, it’s easy to feel disheartened and even desperate. What we might not have recognized yet is that this is an opportunity to go deeper into our healing.
In our second session, Kate connects with a protector for the first time and sees a completely different side of it. A side that’s afraid and hasn’t processed the emotion of shame.
When we have done some inner work, we might understand that avoiding pain isn’t the answer. But we also don’t want to keep repeating the same patterns of suffering. So what is the way out of pain in a wholesome, truthful manner?
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