We all have them, and we all detest them. The conversations that go south and end up in disconnection, misunderstandings, and frustration. The conversations that seem to take us deeper into the labyrinth of dysfunctional relationship patterns, when all we want is to be heard, understood, and move past any issues into more joyful interactions. How is it that we all want to have better and resolving conversations, and still end up with confusing and hurtful ones?
A big part of this problem is that we’ve been trained to talk about everything else than what we’re feeling. We talk about what the other person is doing, or why we’re reacting the way we are – but are not able to drop through the layers of survival responses and feel what’s underneath. Even learning modalities for better conversations will only take you so far if you’re not willing to get in touch with what you feel. When we learn to tap into what we’re feeling, we’re also growing our capacity to speak from there so the other person can feel us authentically. This is one of the keys to creating a true connection.
In this episode of the Uncover YOU podcast, I talk about our fear of dropping deeper into what we’re feeling and how it creates a wall between you and others. I also give you the sustainable path out of attack-defend conversations that will grow your self-awareness and allow others to connect with you.If you like what you hear, you’re also welcome to practice the skills of getting in touch with what you’re feeling so you can express from there, in my weeklong training Feeling Me.
Listen to episode 58, on the way out of hurtful conversations here:
A summary of what I talk about in this episode:
- The attack-defend conversation
- Two main reasons to why we keep repeating the hurtful conversations
- The self-betrayal in our dysfunctional conversations
- The alternative that will create a better connection with yourself and others
- When you’re doing your half, but the other person is stuck