I sit down with my friend Pontus for an honest conversation about the avoidant strategy in insecure attachment. What happens when the body recoils, the mind starts building a case, and distance feels like the only way back to safety?
This series isn’t here to label you as anxious or avoidant. It’s here to give you tangible signs to track… and a way to turn them into healing.
The key to healing relationship patterns at the root is simple—but not easy: you have to feel what you’ve been most afraid to feel.
We don’t regulate to always feel safe. We regulate so we dare to love and be alive.
What happens when your partner does something that makes you feel unsafe—like giving attention to someone else? And then, when you ask for reassurance, they pull away. In that moment, a familiar question arises: “Am I being triggered by an old wound, or are they actually crossing a boundary?”
When we look back at previous generations and wonder, "Why didn't they teach me how to regulate my emotions or connect with my body?" we're making an assumption that they should have known what we're just now discovering.
Jealousy, when met with curiosity and self-leadership, becomes a guide. Instead of spiraling into blame or self-doubt, you can begin to relate to it from a place of sovereignty and love.
Consider how differently you might approach your inner work if you viewed it as cultivating a garden rather than fixing a problem. When you plant seeds in a garden, you don't expect immediate results. You understand that growth takes time.
This relationship revolution isn't about finding a perfect partner who never triggers your fears. It's about developing the capacity to be with your own emotional responses, giving yourself what you need, and then clearly communicating from that place of wholeness.
At the heart of this revolution lies a critical question many of us face: "How do I know if I'm practicing the right things in my relationships or dating?"
In today's self-development culture, we're often taught that emotional reactions are signs of immaturity or proof we're not "healed enough" for love. But what if these intense emotional waves are actually signposts pointing to your deepest healing?
Season 3 of the Uncover You podcast kicks off with a bold reframe. What if your patterns and struggles aren’t something that's wrong with you, but your initiation into deeper relational leadership?