We don’t regulate to always feel safe. We regulate so we dare to love and be alive.
What happens when your partner does something that makes you feel unsafe—like giving attention to someone else? And then, when you ask for reassurance, they pull away. In that moment, a familiar question arises: “Am I being triggered by an old wound, or are they actually crossing a boundary?”
When we look back at previous generations and wonder, "Why didn't they teach me how to regulate my emotions or connect with my body?" we're making an assumption that they should have known what we're just now discovering.
Jealousy, when met with curiosity and self-leadership, becomes a guide. Instead of spiraling into blame or self-doubt, you can begin to relate to it from a place of sovereignty and love.
Consider how differently you might approach your inner work if you viewed it as cultivating a garden rather than fixing a problem. When you plant seeds in a garden, you don't expect immediate results. You understand that growth takes time.
This relationship revolution isn't about finding a perfect partner who never triggers your fears. It's about developing the capacity to be with your own emotional responses, giving yourself what you need, and then clearly communicating from that place of wholeness.
At the heart of this revolution lies a critical question many of us face: "How do I know if I'm practicing the right things in my relationships or dating?"
In today's self-development culture, we're often taught that emotional reactions are signs of immaturity or proof we're not "healed enough" for love. But what if these intense emotional waves are actually signposts pointing to your deepest healing?
Season 3 of the Uncover You podcast kicks off with a bold reframe. What if your patterns and struggles aren’t something that's wrong with you, but your initiation into deeper relational leadership?
To break old patterns and start doing something new, you need a strong why, a motivation. “I should be doing that” just isn’t strong enough to overcome old survival strategies.
Kate was often worried Ben would leave for someone “more attractive”. And when her fear and hurt would show up, she feared she was ruining everything. After doing Being Me a second time everything shifted.
If you’re avoiding conflict (scared of how it will make you feel) or creating conflict (a survival response that has kept you safe) - you need to learn how conflict can open doors to more intimacy and connection.