You know that situation when you’re not sure if it’s you or them? If you’re overreacting from a past wound being touched, or if you should set boundaries? In these situations you tend to get stuck in the protection layers, directing the attention away from yourself.
Do you feel like your painful experiences, how you were brought up, your trauma response, protection patterns, and wounds are the things holding you back in life? I used to as well. Until I was shown that they weren’t the problem at all. They were actually here as the opportunity to grow into my full potential.
So how does this whole rejection come about? We can call it conditioning, but at the core it’s also about how your ego mind works. In the hunt for creating a desirable identity, your ego mind will reject aspects of your self that don’t fit.
The people pleaser often has an idea of itself as a selfless giver, being there for other people. But if you scratch the surface you see it’s doing what it’s doing as a strategy to get what YOU need, in a rather manipulative way.
When you look at jealousy and insecurity as problems that need to be fixed - you tend to treat them as experiences without validity. Now you miss the underlying reason why they are there (and the opportunity to truly change and alchemize them).
Procrastinating and pushing yourself to work too hard might seem like two completely unrelated topics. What they DO have in common is that they are often misunderstood and rejected.
When you are physically or emotionally abused your system will go into a survival response. When what’s at stake is to be accepted, liked, and belong, or to have that emotional need that you have been missing since early childhood met, it’s very UNlikely that the survival response will be fight or flight.