Our protector parts – the ones who’ve been repeating the pattern of freeze, distraction, pleasing, judgment etc – are often deeply misunderstood. Since their pattern is to look away from and in all ways possible avoid pain, they might seem annoying, harsh, avoidant, and cold. But this is another part of you, projecting its pain onto them.
When you truly start to connect with the protector parts, from a place of awareness, you’ll learn that they do what they do because THEY hurt. Not being able to keep another part safe and free from pain is their biggest fear and whenever your wounded parts are in pain they feel inadequate and afraid. So they try harder, and as a consequence keep the pattern intact.
It’s also easy to forget that naturally, these parts don’t know how to feel. It hasn’t been modeled to them. But we can teach them how to and they’ll be more than happy to help. After all, that’s what they’ve wanted to do all along.
In our second session, Kate connects with a protector for the first time and sees a completely different side of it. A side that’s afraid and hasn’t processed the emotion of shame. By relating differently to this part its experience starts to shift.
In this episode, we explore a more truthful compassion for the protector parts. Which is key to shifting a wounded pattern. Listen to understand your own protector parts in a new light.