Truth is that YOU likely need to give yourself a break. As long as you’re operating from the same belief system and are unconsciously embodying struggle - that’s what you’ll receive more of. Even if life events do keep happening, your relationship to them will be very different if you’ve shifted your own beliefs about struggle.
On a more spiritual level, connecting with your mature feminine so that she can receive more of the mature masculine will open you up to consciousness on the innermost level. A permeation of truth in every atom of your being. It’s a feeling of making love to all of life and letting life guide you.
When you cut yourself off from your sexuality, or use it in a wounded way that lacks integrity, you have lost a potent source of life force. You most likely feel drained of energy and aliveness. Healing and embracing your sexuality in a new way might very well be the piece you’ve been missing.
After three rounds of this alchemical process, with tweaking of the practices and testing different forms of support and structure, I get teary-eyed when reading the shifts members have had in their experience of life and themselves.
You’ve read the books, taken the courses and listened to the teachers but still feel like you’re not where you want to be. Faced with the fear of failing, your mind dreams up ideas of what you need and what you’re missing to get the shifts that you want.