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When you keep thinking and speaking from lack - from everything that shouldn’t be here - you’re training your brain to pay extra attention to it and therefore experience more of what you don’t want. Whoops.

When we’ve learned to doubt what we want and feel stuck in not having our needs met (and constantly being pulled back into a core wound when it isn’t) - we’re more likely to feel stuck in an inner conflict of what we want and if it’s reasonable to ask for it.

When we exile aspects of ourselves we also exile certain emotions. When we shut ourselves off from having certain emotions - we disconnect from a crucial part of ourselves: Our wantings.

To start meeting your emotional needs your sense of identification, or your assemblage point, needs to shift. Trying to meet them from within the old identification will be like trying to get warm with a cold bath. Or asking your five-year-old to fix the car engine.

The possibility for suffering is right here, inside of you, and so is the possibility for joy, healing, and ease.

I know you can have the shifts you long for - and that an important piece to getting there is being prepared for the game your mind will play.

How do you share yourself with another person, if it feels like a potential threat to do so? How do you create emotional intimacy (which will lead to deeper physical intimacy) if you’re afraid of wounds being touched?

In this episode, I give you 3 alternative stories about your reactive patterns instead of the shame, fear, and lies. I call them truths because in my experience they are. But I don’t need you to believe in them.

In this special episode, I take you through one of my own recent reactions and break down the layers I found. So you can look for the layers and the root in your own patterns.

Tune in to understand what embodied healing sounds and feels like, so that you can apply it on your own reactive patterns and protection mechanisms. People-pleasing or other!

If you’ve listened to my other episodes on reactive relationship patterns and how to heal them at the core, you’ve realized that there’s work to do in between the activating moments. But what do you do while the trigger is happening? If you don’t want to go into old loops or screaming matches and add confusion, hurt, and blame?

When my clients learn how to regulate their nervous system and make changes from OUTSIDE the old identification, results to lifelong patterns happen quickly.