If you’ve been learning about reactive relationship patterns from me and how to heal them at the core, you already know: There’s work to be done between the activating moments.
But what about when you’re in it? When your chest tightens, your voice rises (or disappears), and your mind is racing? What do you actually do while the trigger is happening—if you don’t want to loop back into blaming, shutting down, or saying something you’ll later regret?
Most of us assume that once we have the awareness—
“This is a pattern.”
“This comes from a wound.”
“This is just my protection mechanism at play”—
…we should be able to stop it.
As if you could just think your way out of a full-body response.
Wouldn’t that be great?
But that’s not how your nervous system works.
And—fortunately—that’s not how your healing works either.
Why?
👉 Because your unconscious mind always overrides your thinking mind
👉 Because these protection mechanisms exist for a reason—they were trying to keep you safe
👉 Because every trigger is actually an invitation into deeper self-leadership and love
The work isn’t to bypass the reaction.
It’s to learn how to meet it—with presence, skill, and compassion.
In this episode, I walk you through three things you can actually do in the moment, while the trigger is happening. You’ll also learn about the three capacity levels of nervous system leadership—and how to move up the ladder over time.
