The alchemical online program:
Get out from your head, connect with your wanting and embody the true YOU
You have been growing your self-awareness and started questioning and taking apart some of the old beliefs that were running your life. It has changed you. You have tools and a completely new understanding of the world and yourself. You feel more free and hopeful again.
At the same time, it seems like you’re invited into deeper and deeper layers of yourself. You might be feeling more intense emotions than ever before. Old patterns might be re-appearing seemingly out of nowhere. There might be patterns that still feel challenging – people pleasing, setting boundaries, feeling safe being vulnerable, expressing your wishes to others, or something else. Your mind is somewhat confused about who you are and how to navigate the world without the old protection mechanisms…
Your nervous system might still be in a survival state, after years of reactiveness, and your mind is still going into fight/flight by working harder or wanting to burn it all down.
“I should be there by now.”
“I should be able to shift this.”
“Why am I feeling so low energy?”
“Maybe if I do another inventory…”
“Maybe I need to practice more gratitude.”
It feels like you’ve read all the books, watched all the videos, and KNOW all the stuff, and still there’s something missing in your human experience of life. How can you embody your true potential and feel fully alive?
How do I know who I truly am?
It feels like what you’re finding out is just more of what you are NOT. It’s a relief to find out you’re not your thoughts, reactions, and conditioning. That you’re not the Victim or the Villain, but you’re discovering that the Fixer or the Observer, that you thought were kind of good, are also characters of the ego.
So who are you then?? And how do you know when you’re thinking and operating from a core self?
Yes, you’ve felt glimpses of a different self and understand the idea of yourself as consciousness, something bigger, connected with everything… You might even go there daily in meditation or during retreats. But where does your human fit in? How do you know how to live THIS life from integrity, with all the messiness, a work schedule and decisions to be made?
How do I know what I want?
How do you know if it’s your integrity wishing for things, the voice from your soul and heart, and not just another voice from your ego-mind?
(And btw, aren’t all desires inherently bad, from a spiritual standpoint? Shouldn’t you simply be content sitting on a park bench and breathing with God, and anything else simply means you’re “not there yet”?)
You’re not alone finding yourself in this pickle. Many of us lose touch with what we want after years of pleasing and taking care of others. Or going after things we THOUGHT we wanted, only to find out they were compensation to feel better about ourselves.
Not to mention the identification with the mind we’ve been stuck in for most of our lives. A fear-based thinking that has us go back and forth trying to figure out the “right” answer.
How do I merge my spiritual and human self?
What started as a wonderful awakening has somehow turned into new musts and shoulds. Your Spiritual Ego is judging your human self and trying to make it feel and be different. Like you KNOW you should be grateful, but somehow this unruly human is not…
This means there is some shadow integration to be done. To stop turning away from your human messiness and actually apply unconditional love to all parts of yourself.
It’s common to take the moving truck and completely move into a spiritual idea of yourself, while hurt, shame, anger, and frustration become undesirable emotions that you judge yourself for having. (“And are probably causing me cancer – fuck.” #GoodVibesOnly)
This is an invitation to embody unconditional love towards your human. Because when you do, you step into the flow of life… as I discovered to my own surprise.
in a similar place a few years into my awakening journey. I had been going far out into the experience of consciousness, only to realize that I didn’t know much about the human I was inhabiting. I realized I didn’t know what I truly wanted, or even how to get in touch with it.
Answering this question became so important that I took leaps of faith, and risked my comfortable known life to find the answers. I went traveling by myself, drove through the desert, retreated to silence, dated 15 men in one year, inquired, studied, felt, meditated, practiced, and went beyond the common answers… to have a fulfilling understanding of:
What do I truly want?
In this process, I started to find out what I DIDN’T want. This was the first step and an important one. Feeling and being honest with what I didn’t like had been shut down by a protection mechanism formed during abuse and not learning to set boundaries. It needed to be restored. I couldn’t know what I wanted if I didn’t know what “I don’t want this” felt like.
I thought I was trying to solve a problem but I had found a secret door to a whole new world. A deep forest spring covered in moss that started to sing as I uncovered it.
As I began to be honest with what I wanted and honour it in various ways, I started to feel alive and turned on. It was like life force rushed right into me.
The more I followed my wanting, the more aligned and fulfilled I felt. I felt more power. It was a ripple effect. It also opened a big love for myself. If I resent and dismiss myself why would I give myself what I want?
The wantings didn’t stop. Once I had activated this compass it kept taking me to next thing and then next thing on my journey – deeper and deeper, into more and more growth and expansion. I had unlocked a divine force. A higher self. It became my north star. It’s how God and my soul speaks to me, when I make the channel clear enough.
that what I want is life itself speaking through me. My unique human expression of life itself. “What I want” is what is moving me forward, what makes me grow, and what takes me on the next adventure. A force with wisdom my ego could only dream of.
By connecting with my wanting, I had connected with the flow of life itself and started to embody the me underneath the layers of conditioning.
You, like me, have probably learned to question that authentic desire, and are allowing your mind to override it and make the decisions. You have formed protection around it. Scared of where it will take you. And sometimes you have taken it way too seriously.
When you’re cut off from what you want, you’re cut off from your aliveness. Re-connecting with what you want will have you re-connect with life itself.
It gives you a new home to navigate life as a human from, and without it you’ll stay lost in the labyrinths of the thinking mind.
It’s time to take it back. To activate it. To connect with it.
It’s your power, your play, your engine, your reason why.
I want you to feel it alive inside of you, and I want you to learn to navigate by it.
Your turn on. Your heart. Your soul.
To trust it, to receive and to let it flow through you.
What if it was just me? When I put together the first version of Being Me, I honestly didn’t know if it would work on anyone else. I was surprised and THRILLED when week after week, members were coming back with shifts and experiences of pleasure, meeting with uncomfortable emotions and feeling alive.
After three rounds of this alchemical process, you can read what some of the members have been experiencing below.
The Self Mastery work was what finally shifted my life after years of therapy, stress management, mindfulness and a feeling of hopelessness. I didn’t stop after I shifted some of my most uncomfortable beliefs but kept going and changed my internal world from a state of depression, PTSD and panic attacks to joy, peace and excitement about life. And a brain and heart in coherence.
I started combining the Self Mastery work with meditation, somatic experiencing and other practices which accelerated the progress. I learned how to create from intent and went on a personal quest to get in touch with what I wanted. I learned how to activate power through pleasure, and how everything I was taught about having to work hard to get what I want is a lie.
Since a few years back I’m teaching clients and groups to change their inner world, using the profound foundation of the Self Mastery work combined with everything I’ve gathered on my own journey, a big amount of research and passion and my experience from working with others.
I want similar changes for you as I have experienced. I want you to feel turned on about your life creation and what it feels to love yourself completely and align with life. I can’t wait to guide you through some of the most powerful activations I’ve practiced and fine-tuned.