Being me

I didn’t use to be either, and the people who join my groups are often similar lone wolves. I’ve learned that staying in that bubble can be great, but we are also missing out. It can become a safe house, and a prison after a while.

Learning and sharing in a group setting will bring new possibilities for growth and for you to become aware of patterns in the way of the life you want for yourself. It’s okay to show up and feel shy or uncomfortable. A lot of the times we realize we are not the only ones feeling this way. You don’t have to share during the calls if you don’t want to, there is still a lot to take away from listening and do the practices.

I think you already know if this is the next step on the journey for you… Simply ask yourself “Do I feel excited from the thought of joining?” And right there, you have already started practicing connecting to what you want for yourself. The mind might step in afterwards and say “But..” and “What if…”, but you already know the answer.

Not feeling ready doesn’t equal that it’s not a good fit. When do we ever feel ready for ANYTHING? Are you going to live by the belief that you have to feel ready for it to be a good fit? Better measuring stick: are you committed to the change you want?

Yes. Things will fall apart and change, old things will die and new things will come into your life. But old things will also change and upgrade. The mind is often afraid of this because it projects outcomes and fear into a potential future. Are YOU ready to let go of things that don’t serve you?

AND you always have a choice. You can keep whatever you want to and still get HUGE benefit and value from the practices.

It is high-level stuff. And so are you. Why are you distancing yourself from things high-level? Could it be a protection mechanism to avoid the feeling of failing that a part of you can’t stand? If so, do you want to keep living by that pattern, or take a different action?

(PS. A high-level way of being YOU and feeling joy and turn-on is your birthright… It doesn’t require a PhD in philosophy. No one but you can do it and you can’t do it wrong.)

That’s what Martha thought too! She’s in her seventies and has felt very shy about speaking in front of others her whole life and like she’d never fit in. This is what she said after being in the group:

“My experience in this course was incredibly wonderful. I was hesitant to sign up for it, with parts of me saying ‘You will not fit in. You are too old and too shy.’ But I never felt that way in the course. You provide such safety for and acceptance of others. You embody such wisdom in how to guide others into areas where they continue to long to be once they get even a little glimpse of. Your beautiful superpowers helped me move much further beyond what had so long been big limits, big barriers to pleasure and truly living to now seeing a new and happier way to be. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

That was after the first round. She has since then done a second round, travelled across the world to come to the in-person retreat in Sweden AND signed up for the coming round. I’ll never forget her stepping into our closing circle during the retreat and shout: “I brag my fucking shyness!!”

Actually, a majority of the people joining think they are too shy, won’t see any results and get left behind. It doesn’t mean that it’s true.

Martha and I during the Being Me retreat in Sweden, June 2022.

Yes, this group can seem all positive vibes and being in your power and experiencing pleasure and ease… If that’s not where you’re at right now and you’re moving through layers of anger, hopelessness, or sadness, the gap can seem big, and like you would be out of place in this group.

What I want you to know is: There’s never anything wrong with what you’re experiencing.
AND:
All emotions are welcome in Being Me. That’s actually one of the big things that we’re practicing – accepting and welcoming all parts of us. That IS how you get to more love for yourself.
You are welcome to our sessions with anything going on. It’s never about censoring or putting on a brave face.

The big question is:
Do you want to hang on to the pain, anger, hopelessness…? Or would “a positive environment” be something you’d like for yourself as well?
The reason I ask – when there have been events in our past that we needed protection from and we feel that anger or any other emotion has been the only thing protecting us, it can feel very scary to let go of it. It can also be the only way we know how to operate, and what we feel we are worthy of. That’s okay, and it will all unfold as you keep uncovering layers. There’s no need to rush this, everything has its time.

If you DO want to stay mainly in the anger, sadness or hopelessness right now (which again, is okay) there might be strong resistance to the pleasure, ease and joy that we’re connecting with in Being Me. There are been participants showing up at that place, and they have mostly felt the resistance the first round, but have STILL honored their deeper longing for the ease and pleasure so they have wanted to meet that resistance, get to know it and be in an environment they can be nurtured from. And some of them have gone for another round.

You see, you can have both. You can move through layers of emotions and release layers while you’re also connecting to the new dream and what you want for yourself. Life is never one single thing. You get to have it all.

I would say these are the three main reasons for joining another round:

1️⃣ Your journey is somewhat like an onion, or a Russian Doll. You get to clear and heal things in one layer and then you start seeing a new layer. So what you applied the practices to last time might feel complete, and now there might be a new area that is calling for your attention. Being Me is a container for you to put loving awareness on your own process, wherever it’s at, not a study-group to learn new theory and once it’s done it’s done.

2️⃣ As many of the members who’ve done several rounds can tell you, Being Me is not the same every year. The core of embodiment and navigating what you want from your turn-on is the same, but I’ll teach it in different ways and bring in new aspects of it each time. It’s a program that’s alive and keeps changing according to what’s alive in me and the group. You’ll definitely pick up new insights and practices each time.

3️⃣ The collective dream of analyzing, being stuck in your head and operating from fear and survival state is strong on the planet. Most people live by it. If you’re able to completely break out of that dream and heal your feminine/masculine dynamics, live in your body and fully operate from love and trust after one round of Being Me – I celebrate you! I know for me I’ve needed to connect with a different dream again and again until it started to come fully alive in me.
Providing for yourself with support and reminders as we move through changing it all… is an act of self-love. A tribe, a sister-and brotherhood, of likeminded is essential. I often see people denying themselves that from some idea that they “should be done by now”…

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PLUS it feels fucking good to brag, dance and be completely honest with an amazing group of people. How often do we get that in our “regular life”??

That’s a good thing! It means there’s potential and probably a very good reason for why you’re feeling the way you are. Your life force lives in your body and you need to connect with it. That you can’t feel it now doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to. That the tree doesn’t have leaves in the winter doesn’t mean it won’t in the summer…

You have taken on some of society’s and your family’s beliefs around what sex is. And probably formed some of your own from experiences and events during your life. You’ve made agreements about what sex is and your relationship to it. Maybe you don’t trust yourself around it, or have concluded it’s not for you.

How has that been working for you? Are you ready to question even 10% of those agreements and release some of the shame? You can decide to keep the rest! (But I doubt you want to when you see how they have been cutting you off from a superpower.)

There are other ways of utilizing your sexual energy than through sex. Your sexuality is a connection to life force and when you realize it’s there for YOU to enjoy, not to please or perform, it will turn your light back on. If you want to know more you can listen to this episode of the Uncover YOU podcast.

It’s a lot more natural than your mind probably wants to make it. We often get stuck in the mind’s version and narrative of who we are. We live from the point of view of our characters, operating from belief systems they have put faith in. When we let go of those there is a natural shift in the idea of “who I am”. It’s not you dying, it’s the false idea of who you are that you’re letting go of.

This is often referred to as ego-death and can occur spontaneously through impactful events in our lives or more consciously through awareness and embodiment practices. It can also happen on a big scale or in smaller increments. You can decide how big of a death you want! You’re in charge of letting go of what you feel ready to let go of. And you can keep anything you want to keep.

I’m sneaky that way. It’s not until we welcome and accept them that we open up a space where they can truly become self-aware, have their needs met and are willing to change.

And the big piece in the ego-death process isn’t even that the characters have to die, but that your identification with them does.

That’s a neat solution, but those parts are already running your life in ways you might not know. What you resist persists. Bringing it UP from the underworld and into awareness will give it LESS power over you. It’s not about allowing them to roam in destructive ways, but to meet with and integrate them.

They are often waay less scary than what our mind might think. It’s the mind who is afraid to feel what these parts are feeling that form protection by telling stories of how TERRIBLE they are. They are part of your human. You’ll get support in embracing them. And when you do, you’ll grow your sense of self, feel more free than you’ve ever done and wonder why you didn’t do that sooner.

But hey, you’re free to keep them hidden too.

That’s great awareness right there. You see the longing to join, and also the fear underneath the resistance and doubts around joining. How does it feel to see that?

And also: how would it feel to bring this part who are afraid with you into Being Me if you decide to join? What would be a way that this part would feel safer and like it’s heard?

It’s when we turn away from these parts of ourselves that their fear often overtakes us. When we turn towards them, hear them, and welcome them, we can give them what they need to be included on the journey.

That’s also what you’ll get to practice in Being Me. To welcome all parts of you and love them.

I’ll also let you in on a secret. I don’t have the exact numbers so don’t quote me, but a qualified guess would be that around 80% of all the Being Me members show up with a similar part…

Your scared part would be in good company.

I can’t. And it’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m not trying to be a male. I’m a woman leading a group of men, women, and everyone else through activation practices.

Would it be a different experience if a man led it? Yes.
Are there things I won’t cover because I’m a woman? Yes.
Will there be things covered that wouldn’t be if a man was leading the group? Yes!

You can choose to see this as a problem, or as a different experience.

But also: are all women the same?
Would it be a different experience if another woman led the women’s group? Yes.
Can I relate to what’s going on in all of the women’s experiences? No.

I meet everyone as a woman and as Eva, and as something beyond gender and human experience.

I’m in groups for women led by men myself. And I know that other things are brought up when we’re met and reflected by a man or a woman. None of them are right/wrong – just different and both are needed to heal all aspects of us.

Also, I have shifted many old beliefs about what I can and can not do. I’m bringing you into my dream and my activation practices. They are beneficial for men, women, and unicorns.

If you’re looking for a group led by a man, great. I want you to have that! This isn’t it.

I wouldn’t do this journey with men if I didn’t think I had big medicine to bring. I just wouldn’t.

1. If you feel excited when reading about the program, the practices, and when thinking about joining.
2. If you’ve done some previous work with observing and changing your thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
3. If you feel motivated to get the direct experience, not just theory.

Then jump right in my friend.